French Mum, humanitarian, restless explorer and doer on sabbatical in Cebu (Philippines): one Attila in each arm, I am exploring the “toddlers safe” corners of the region, while trying to keep some room for Me.
“Good things come to those who wait“. This sentence used to make me smile. Yeah, sure. I have always been more into believing “quien espera desespera” (litteraly: the one who waits will dispair).
Doesn’t it sound like a quote for losers to you? It’s ok to wait, things happen for a reason, keep calm and dream on..
In all my appraisals, one word would always stand out :“impatient”. If not this one, it would be “impulsive”. Live with it, this is me, a typical ENSP, aquarius, who believes that if it is made for you, it should happen now. Period.
I don’t believe people dramatically change. They learn and soften, for the best part of us. So I did I .. and as usual, it’s love that paved the way to a little bit of (well needed) patience.
When your job takes you to radically different places every year, it is quite challenging to invest time and energy in a decent relationship. You see life in fast forward, can not make plans as you don’t know where the next mission will take you, and before you know it, you turn 30 and become some kind of wild Bridget Jones. A more muscular and tanned one, but still, a Bridget!
It was one those classic Saturday of all night party, with all the usual humanitarian crowd. The scoop is that this night, I broke up with my Kiwi boyfriend. I had incidentally found out that he had “forgotten” to mention a child and a fiancée waiting for him back home. Oups, one of those little details… Some of my friends were telling me not to care “carpe diem, who cares? In 6 months down the road, you two will probably be in different continents anyhow!”. Others were mad, so mad at him to the point that you would actually wonder whose feelings had been hurt there?
I chose to discretely escape and go back home. Here I am, sipping on my coffee, enjoying the most promising sunrise I had ever watched.
I remember realizing the truth of the proverb “sometimes, things happen for a reason”. Made me smile. This one morning, I made myself a promise. I will give time to time. I know the values I am standing for, and I want to be proud of me when I’ll look back at my life. It was time to me to live more from intention and less from habit. The heart warming rays of the sun seemed to whisper “Good things happen to those who wait”.
My awesome flatmate came for the usual debriefing of the party she had missed. The ex boyfriend had become a detail of the past. I was actually thankful for the eyes opener. I simply told her “I know what I am standing for. Next time I’ll tell you I am with someone, get ready to be my wedding witness”.
I did not turn into a kind Sleeping Beauty waiting for The Man. I simply decided to eliminate from my life all that was not serving it. I made myself the promise to fall in love when I am ready, not because I am lonely. It was about time to finally become my best friend, focus on my values and live the healthy life I had been procrastinating for a bit too long.
A year down the road, the same great flat mate is telling me about this friend of her who I should really meet, “because you two have the same twisted sense of humor”. Marcel was deployed in Afghanistan, me in India. After weeks of virtual courtship, we finally met up in Dubai. And yes, it was love at first sight.
No way we could even think about living together in the same town, let alone the same country back then. It took us about two years of long distance relationship before we could finally live under the same roof. No stress, no pressure, we have known since day one that our paths were meant to be together. Good things come to those who wait. Better things happen to those who don’t give up.
Marcel and the kids are having a blast building a tent in the living room. My family is my everything. If you allow me, there is just one line I want to add to the proverb, to make it really complete:
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