Estelea's Blog

French Mum, humanitarian, restless explorer and doer on sabbatical in Cebu (Philippines): one Attila in each arm, I am exploring the “toddlers safe” corners of the region, while trying to keep some room for Me.

Let little girls be little girls!

societyperfect

The moment she sat down in the jeepney, all eyes were on her: Mini jeans skirt, 2 inches high hills, halter sequins top, pink manicure matching her perfect pedicure. She slowly pulled back a stray of her long silky hair to readjust her sunglasses.

The driver let a loud “Sexy girl! You could win a Beauty Pageant!“.

The ultimate compliment: winning a Beauty Pageant. The ultimate recognition: being called sexy. At 10 years old!

It seems that I was the only one shocked. In a country that has won all 5 beauty pageants, “sexy” doesn’t mean.. sexy. “It’s a just a compliment, explained a Filipino friend of mine. Don’t take things too seriously“.

Still.

I felt so sorry for the blushing kid. What are we teaching our girls when we dress them like that? that it is ok to be considered as a sexual object. It is also fair to judge women on their sole physical appearance.

Look at Barbie and her girl friends. Pardon my French, but don’t you think that some of them look like porn stars? Definitely not the kind of girl I’d like my daughter to look like, with huge red lips and heavy make up.

Watch this video, and see the beautiful transformation. That’s the kind of dolls I love, down to earth and ready for adventures:

It is never too early to explain to a kid that nothing builds self confidence and self esteem like accomplishment. Show them to appreciate other qualities in themselves and in people than their looks. They are Fabulous because they are doing and feeling great !

Ms Attila’s idols are her ballet teacher (the typical natural ballerina), Anna and Elsa. I hope that the “grannies fashion” will last forever! Till now, her Dad’s hair is hardly revealing any fleck of grey..So far, so good 😛

MsAttilaswimsuit

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15 comments on “Let little girls be little girls!

  1. Terri Webster Schrandt
    June 26, 2015

    A very important message, indeed. When the first Barbie came out in 1959 (I got my first in 1965) she was not as made up. She did have the 50-60’s heavy eye liner but everything else was mostly neutral. I thought the big blown-up lips fad went away, but still on the faces of dolls? Since my daughters are grown and I have no grand kids yet, I haven’t really looked at dolls in a while. I like how this artist changes the faces–miraculous!

    • estelea
      June 26, 2015

      This artist does wonders, I totally agree. Feels good to be back to some normality 🙂
      I just found out about this one too http://lammily.com/about/
      Real proportions, decent clothes, that’s the ones I’ll buy for my daughter. You have to be a girl to know how those dolls affect our body image, from our youngest age. When all we see around is Barbie, photoshoped models and other anorexic fashionista.. I totally freaked out when my daughter asked me the other day if a bread with chocolate would make her fat! At 4 y.o. 😛

      • Terri Webster Schrandt
        June 26, 2015

        Thanks for the link…and OMG about your daughter’s question! Body awareness is pervasive isn’t it?

      • estelea
        June 28, 2015

        Oh yes it is! And at this age they so want to be “in the norm”. She had her months when she wanted to have black straight hair like all her schoolmates, while all the teachers were admiring her curly golden hair … Then Princess Elsa came and she became the beauty queen of her school. How ridiculous …

  2. that traveling nurse
    June 26, 2015

    Was this in Cebu? And this 10 year old child was already wearing heels and a mini skirt? Pffft, times have indeed changed. We don’t have any kids but to me, every time I see a young girl wearing those mini kitten heels with manicured nails and make up (even if some think it is just child’s play), I right away judge the parents for allowing their little girls to grow up quickly. Call me old fashioned. Or maybe I don’t have the right to judge as I do not have any kids myself. What do I know about child rearing and parenting, right?

    • estelea
      June 26, 2015

      I think any woman know, you feel what it is right for a kid or not. Yes, it was in Cebu. I don’t think they realize the harm they are doing to those kiddos, they see them as dolls, but what scares the most is to read so much about child trafficking here. It makes me paranoid each time I see one of those little girls, especially when there is an old Caucasian in the jeepney.
      I do blame the Mums for being so selfish when they dress their daughters like teenagers. I drives me crazy when they re so proud when men say that their daughters are “sexy”.
      And the marketing industry supports this sexualization. I had a hard time finding real flat shoes for Ms Attila’s school. It’s either you get the flat ballerina ones or the Barbies with the hills. Brrr..

  3. I know someone who is always dolling up her daughter, who’s maybe 4 or 5, and I cringe every time I look at pictures of her in clothes that are more suited for grown-ups. I can’t help thinking she is being raised to base her worth on her appearance and on compliments from others. I was the opposite — my mom never wears makeup, and so I never learned about makeup from her. I still don’t know the proper way to apply lipstick, much less foundation or eye shadow or whatever. And even though I wish I know enough about makeup to do it myself when it’s needed, I’m happy I never feel the need to put on makeup to feel like I’m presentable to the world.

    • estelea
      June 26, 2015

      Your Mum did great, you can be forever thankful! thanks to her (and yourself 😉 you have the best attitude 😀 !!!
      This is exactly what I want my daughter to feel: you don’t need make up to feel presentable, trust yourself and wear your shinest smile (worth a billion lipsticks)

  4. ItalianHurricane
    June 26, 2015

    Wonderful!!! I used to hate Barbies (not to mention Bratz) when I was little because of that bitchy unnatural look… And volunteering with children I saw they were all playing with Winx and other dools in miniskirts and crazy make up, and they wanted to be like those dolls! That made me so sad!

    • estelea
      June 28, 2015

      It is very sad, indeed! There is such a market out there. I volunteered in a very remote Filipino school here, and there was a galery of pic on a wall entitled “what do I want to be?” . On all of them , the typical “Asian beauty”: super white, skinny with the fake nose. Nothing to do with those dark chubby girls 😦

  5. LifestyleswithLia
    June 26, 2015

    What an interesting post…definitely a sign of our times how little girl’s fashion and appearance is changing…I remember when I was a kid, our clothes weren’t simply smaller versions of women’s clothing…They were still kid’s clothes…Overalls, rompers, white sandals, loose t-shirts. I noticed about 10-15 years ago that the fashions were changing and little girls were wearing leather knee boots, mini skirts with tights, and clothing that were exactly like women’s clothing only in smaller sizes. Here’s to keeping children as children for as long as possible…I’m not saying not to have them grow up and learn about the world but at 10 years old, I was still making mud pies in the garden and jumping rope.
    Oh and the NY Times article about grannie fashion!? I must admit that I live in New York but missed this article! How interesting! Long live Bridget Jones ! (I love that scene from the movie!)

    • estelea
      June 28, 2015

      Oh yes, this scene from Bridget Jones is so excellent 😀 I loved this movie so much, you made me want to watch it again (and Colin Firth is such an awesome prince charming, isn’t he? did you see his last movie, Kingsman secret services? he is the living proof that class is an attitude!).

      I remember my childhood exactly as yours, plus itchy pull overs 😉 Definitely far from sexy! I don’t think it ever crossed my Mum’s mind to dress me like a doll, she would have had to catch me first, and I was too busy jumping in muddy paddles with my little bro 😉

      • LifestyleswithLia
        June 29, 2015

        Oh I love Colin Firth! He’s so charming and classy! I didn’t see his latest movie but I love him in Love Actually. That’s my favorite!
        Oh itchy wooly clothes were a part of my childhood too! It’s good they don’t make too many itchy things for kids much anymore!
        I can imagine you having fun with your brother in the puddles!! Cute!!

  6. LifestyleswithLia
    June 26, 2015

    PS: The doll transformation in the video is absolutely amazing!

    • estelea
      June 28, 2015

      I love it too! total detox diet 😉

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This entry was posted on June 26, 2015 by in My 2 cents worth, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .

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