Estelea's Blog

French Mum, humanitarian, restless explorer and doer on sabbatical in Cebu (Philippines): one Attila in each arm, I am exploring the “toddlers safe” corners of the region, while trying to keep some room for Me.

“Philippines’ generation of sex tourism children”: Blame the Filipina or the White man?

Occidental men of all ages, if you are looking for a beautiful girlfriend, come to the Philippines!

Candidates for this year's Miss Philippines- Earth beauty pageant. Filipinas are the most awarded Beauty Queens of the world.

Candidates for this year’s Miss Philippines- Earth beauty pageant. The Philippines already won all International beauty pageants: Miss World, Miss Universe, Miss International, and Miss Earth.

Ask any Caucasian male how his ego feels in the Philippines, the answer is unanimous :” like a God. I would never dream of attracting so many beautiful women back home. And so easily“. The rudest ones would add “country of cheap booze and cheap stunning women!”.

Does it mean that those Filipinas who work in bars and sadly well known clubs have better tastes than us Occidental women? “all they want is to get pregnant, they are a bunch of gold diggers, real bitches” is how most expat women (and rich Filipinas) will tell you. While their husbands will probably nod their head and smile at each others, silently recalling one of those “incredible ride, Mate, for hardly 10 bucks!”

What if those girls’ horizons were so defeated they would consider any Caucasian as THE ticket out of poverty? Can we even figure from the comfort of our warm house what it would mean to have to sell your body ? to let a total drunk stranger do whatever he likes with you so you can simply feed your family and make sure you still have a roof upon your head? Given the choice, who would choose such a job?

(c) Dave Tacon/ Al Jazeera

(c) Dave Tacon/ Al Jazeera Dave Tacon/ Al Jazeera Fiona, 7, Tristan, 5, and their mother Jennifer 32, at their home in the Hardian 3 slum. Jennifer met Tristan’s father, Jason, an Australian now living in California while she was working in a go go bar. He visited Tristan when he was one month old. Tristan receives occasional support from Jason, an IKEA manager store in California.

HIV rate has became endemic in the Philippines, most of the girls working in those bars are under age and probably infected. But they are able to make money, that’s all that matters to them and the ones who depend on them. You wouldn’t believe how many times I heard this naive statement from very pretty teenagers working in beauty salons and other nails shops: “it’s better to have a child from a foreigner. They are very beautiful and foreigners always pay for their children“.

Al Jazeera published a gallery of pictures today about the “Philippines’ generation of sex tourism children”  Most of the comments drove me totally crazy. They come from those stupid kind of people, the ones who believe that counting other people’s sins can only make you a saint.

When not condemning those women, the comments were incredibly harsh about the fathers.

“Swan, disgusting perv, old pimp“.. I can not totally disagree a priori. But again, who are we to judge all the men going to prostitutes? Some of them are so very naive, there are countless stories of mature men from Europe, US or Australia who met a beautiful Filipina online, came all the way to marry her and went totally bankrupt in a few months. Foreigners can not buy land in the country, so they would buy it on their girls’ name. The “loving wife” would just have to wait till the place is totally furnished and kick the sponsor out. There are so many sad stories of foreigners having to pay their Filipina wife in order to see the baby they just had. They are inundating the Facebook pages of all the groups of expats in the Philippines who are looking for advises and testimonies of other men who’ve been there. New stories every day!

What do we know about all the fathers reported by Al Jazeera? Would you judge your brother for a one night stand in the midst of his divorce back home?

I have a neighbour of 70 years old who recently married his former helper, a woman of hardly 40 from the province who “is not looking at me as if I were already dead“. He won’t leave her like her former husband did, with 3 children. She once told me he treats her well and he is not drinking. There is a story behind each person. There is a reason they act the way they are. If we all spend more time praying for others instead of talking about them I bet we would get better results.

(c) whattoexpect.com

(c) whattoexpect.com

I will always deeply feel for are the innocent children born out those “love story” who are left without a father to even support them. Mr Pinkerton never came back.

What if instead of judging people by their past, we would all stand by them and help repair their future? So those kids can have a far better life than their parents’ and be the cherished, happy and confident people they deserve to be.

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21 comments on ““Philippines’ generation of sex tourism children”: Blame the Filipina or the White man?

  1. tinyexpats
    September 22, 2015

    Wonderful sentiment. I agree, we cannot blame all the girls or blame all the men. It’s the economical and social situation that shapes the behaviour and causes such cases. Sad.

    • estelea
      September 22, 2015

      Totally agree with you! If at least those kids attend school for free, that would be a good start to break those circles of misery..

      • tinyexpats
        September 22, 2015

        Absolutely! Are there no state schools?

  2. Amy
    September 22, 2015

    I don’t normally have a heart to read this, knowing there is nothing we can do and these countries do not have the program or the policy make a change and have no intention to do so… I’m more angry than feeling sad…

    • estelea
      September 23, 2015

      Same here! thanks for stopping by Amy, if there is not much we can do, as you sadly rightly said, at least we can prevent from judging and show some compassion. The comments were so harsh, so disrespectful,it s so easy to judge without taking the time to understand a little bit.. Have a lovely day dear 🙂

      • Amy
        September 23, 2015

        I agree. I don’t mean to be judgmental… As I said I was angry. The anger came from my deep sadness, that we the ones who care so much about this problem but couldn’t help these helpless young innocent. It real is hurting to read your comment…

      • estelea
        September 23, 2015

        Oh no, I hope you did not understand I was referring to you when I was writing about the “judgmental people” :/ I am as angry and frustrated as you are by the situation of those people because it could be avoided.
        What really irritated me most were all the comments of the readers of the Al Jazeera photo gallery. Those are the judgmental ones,mercy less and so prompt to judge.

        I totally relate to your feeling of deep sadness. I worked with the Red Cross for over a decade in countries affected by war. There I felt I was helping. Now that I am not wearing my badge anymore, that I am back to “normal Life”, I can not even watch a documentary on slums, I feel so useless and angry.
        I totally share your feelings, and again thanks for taking the time to share them.

      • Amy
        September 23, 2015

        Thank you for letting me know… I know this abuse is happening in many countries in Asia. That’ s also why is so hurting to read about these young girls being abused evey day… We care, but we can’t offer help. I know some do, but the problem won’t go away… It take a lot of courage, patience, and kindness

      • Amy
        September 23, 2015

        Sorry, I meant it takes a lot … To work for R C I admire you! I accidentally hit the post key.

      • estelea
        September 23, 2015

        😉 thanks so much! I take all the compliments even if I don’t really deserve them, especially in the morning before my coffee X

    • Labyrinth of Flowers
      January 1, 2016

      I agree.

  3. gamott
    September 23, 2015

    Very interesting read!

  4. Living in Thailand which is about the same as the Philippines and women and sex. I have many many Thai women friends that worked or are working in the “business” Many are very very nice women. Caught in economics and trying to take care of their poor families back in the village. I have friends from the west that have married Thai women that worked in the business. almost all of them have good marriages. Yes there are bad women just like every where. Just like there are westerns abusing the women. But I dont look down on them What they give up to take care of families back in the village is something to admire. just my experience jackie and I am not promoting the sex trade!

    • estelea
      September 24, 2015

      I totally agree with you, and Thailand is very comparable to the Philippines on that matter. We have to understand where those girls come from, it is so easy to judge, and as you so rightly said what they give up to take care of their families back in the village is something I too admire.
      And again, there are good and bad people everywhere. It has nothing to do with the size of the dress or the leaflet..
      Thanks again for stopping by, I really always enjoy reading your comments (and I have been reading many so many of your posts to know that you are a humanist, definitely not someone promoting sex trade 😉

  5. dunelight
    November 10, 2015

    This was a sobering post. You were more than kind in reference to the men who come to the Philippines looking to exploit these girls/young women.

    I shared a cabin with a Philippinna purser on a cruise ship years ago. It was eye opening, her baby back home with her mother, her husband working in Saudi Arabia but she did not want to work there because of the way the Muslims treated her, she explained that being white it would be OK for me to work there and they’d let me keep my independence and Christianity but would force her to abide by their Sharia Laws…it went on..her life was so different from and harder than mine…and she was one of the lucky ones in that she did not have to sell her body, she was lucky enough to make a living using her brain but she had to leave the country to do it.

    • Some guy
      October 6, 2016

      There isn’t any white privilege in saudi arabia. If you are female you must wear a burka and you can’t drive. Really being white makes you more of a target than a filipina would be.

      • estelea
        October 7, 2016

        Being white or being a woman? or even worse, a white Occidental woman I guess … How many stories did hit the news of Occidental women who had been raped and were eventually accused of being provocative because they were not “properly dressed”, hence looking for trouble .. Very sad indeed!

  6. Reblogged this on LIFE SE ASIA MAGAZINE .

  7. very well done thank you for writing Merry Christmas to you and your family jackie

    • estelea
      December 23, 2015

      Thanks so much for the reblog ! Merry Christmas to you all too, all the very best from (almost) next door 🙂

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This entry was posted on September 22, 2015 by in My 2 cents worth, Philippines and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .

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