French Mum, humanitarian, restless explorer and doer on sabbatical in Cebu (Philippines): one Attila in each arm, I am exploring the “toddlers safe” corners of the region, while trying to keep some room for Me.
Sometimes all we need is to breath. Trust. Let go and see what happens.
Planners of the world, I admire you. I am so bad at planning. I love setting directions though, direct the sail along the way. That’s how I feel the more creative, the more in tune with myself, my intuition. It forces me to open my eyes and my heart to everything around me that can tell me something. Guide me somewhere.
Our family has been expatriate in the Philippines for 2 years now. Expatriation has it ups and down. It’s a Love/Hate relationship : I love the feeling of being foreigner, to adapt constantly. And I hate this feeling of being the foreigner, to have to adapt constantly.
Sometimes I feel the urge to go back home. With people who speak my language as fast as I do, whose face speak French, who complain for the sake of complaining, understand my stupid jokes and eat “normal” food. My parents are not getting any younger, I cant believe how many of their friends got seriously ill over the last months. What really matters? The place or the people? our easy tropical lifestyle or building memories with our families?
The next day I love it here. The smiles we are constantly greeted with, the eternal summer, this unique island rhythm. What really matters? Sorting out my homesickness or giving the kids a chance to grow up in a less stressed and polluted environment?
The last months have been shaping a gigantic question mark.
But this year, I decided it would not scare me.
I finally accepted that nothing in set in stones, it is ok if my feelings change. Things change all the time aren’t they? Tides change, perspective change. It is in the waves of change that I always found my true direction, when I let go of strict expectations.
I won’t even try planning, but I have set up a goal to meditate upon: a dream house. At the end of the day, what do we need more than a solid roof, warmth, love and light to feel totally at home. Wherever it will happen to be …
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