Estelea's Blog

French Mum, humanitarian, restless explorer and doer on sabbatical in Cebu (Philippines): one Attila in each arm, I am exploring the “toddlers safe” corners of the region, while trying to keep some room for Me.

The 3 terrible addictions I gave up in 2016

It’s this time of the year, when your acquaintances are all posting about their successes of 2016, and you can’t help but asking yourself. How about me? Am I the only one who hadn’t achieve anything worth facebookable???

My Linkedin profile doesn’t show any dream position, my IG account still lack this insane picture of me masterizing the one handed tree pose and last but not least, in spite of all the homeschooling, my kids are not entering Harvard next year.

2016 has not been a year of achievements, but one of learning. It is still work in progress, but at least there is no going back and what I’ve learnt was more than an updated profile could say..

  1. Stop complaining and blaming others

Was so much easier said than done! I always end up my yoga classes with “may our day be filled with good thoughts, kind words, love and compassion for ourselves and others“. Do I mean it? Sure. On the moment at least.

There were times I was feeling so insecure I would rather blame it on anyone and anything than facing it. Blame it on the Filipino visa if I can’t have a paid work. Blame it on the pitiful internet network if I can’t connect with my family abroad. Blame it on the hellish traffic if I can’t attend all the yoga classes I want. Blame it on the careless NGO the hubby is working for if I feel like a single Mum most of the time. Screen Shot 2016-12-31 at 21.30.15.png

Bitching loves company. The moment I would start, people would respond and support. Would I feel better after? Definitely not. I would feel far worse, totally helpless.

So I tried this: promoting what I love instead of bashing what I don’t. And only making positive sentences. I forbad myself from using any negative word first for a couple of hours a day for a month (had to set realistic goals). Then half a day (took me months!). Now it has become a routine. Of course it is perfectable, but if you could see where I am coming from .. Instead of counting the days, I am doing my best to make each day count. It’s a vertous circle. Internet has not improved, I still can’t work here but I don’t care anymore. Replacing anxiety by gratitude really works wonders!

2. Limiting beliefs

I used to believe that yoga was only for acrobats and I had never contemplated enrolling in a Yoga Teacher Training. That was before I had the chance to meet with the best teacher I ever had, who has been teaching me more than she knows. Little by little, I started to trust myself. I discovered that I am more than my degrees or any prestigious job. The journey inward made me realise of all the preconceived ideas I’ve always had about how my life should be and how I should perform. That’s when I understood the meaning of going with the flow, stop resisting change. So I replaced “no way” by “why not?”. It works in yoga, I never thought my body and my mind would become such good friends. It works with the family too, the kids feel more empowered and they love it. It makes my job search more interesting, making me considerate new alleys I had never thought of .. It’s about creating space. When you let go of old limiting beliefs, you allow better things to enter your life.

3. Negative self talk

screen-shot-2017-01-01-at-03-20-11This one is so hard to get ride of! I used to see only my short comings, and feel so guilty for anything I hadn’t done by the book. Not a good enough Mum, wife, friend, yogi .. Not even able to shut my monkey mind down!

A few weeks ago, I came accross a  2 mn video of Tibetan Buddhist meditation master Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. He diagnosed my frustrations right away with his bright smile:”Push too much!“. I was so into reaching perfection that I had missed the basics: simply be aware of the mind. Breath in, breath out. It is not about trying as hard as you can. It’s about being mindful.

In our occidental cultures, we are formatted to think with our head only. To set drastic goals instead of intentions. I am working on changing that pattern, by leaving some room to my heart and intuitions, and being more gentle with myself too.

Maybe 2016 journey was not so much about becoming anything but unbecoming everything that was not really me. It’s been a challenging yet rewarding ride. 2017, I am ready for growing all what inspires me. I made room, let’s make it happen 🙂

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(In response to Word press Daily Post on Interior)

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57 comments on “The 3 terrible addictions I gave up in 2016

  1. Hubert
    January 3, 2017

    what a fantastic post! I love the “unbecoming everything that was not really me”…
    Have a great start into 2017, may the room you have made available be filled with inspiring and fulfilling personal ‘happenings’…!!

    • estelea
      January 3, 2017

      Oh thanks so very much ! Your comments are always so heartwarmings 🙂
      I wish you all the best of the best, a healthy, funny and adventurous year. Filled with love of course! Where is your next trip ?

    • estelea
      January 3, 2017

      (btw I can’t comment on your blog again. It says “The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Please try again later:).

      • Hubert
        January 3, 2017

        hmm… funnily enough, round about 29 minutes ago I did indeed run a minor update – would you be so kind and try again? (you know that there is hardly anything else on this planet more valuable than one of your comments 😉 )

      • Hubert
        January 3, 2017

        another thought: could you try and not go via WP, but rather directly to the website? (http://blog.active-outside.com)

      • estelea
        January 3, 2017

        It seems to work via your website directly 🙂

      • Hubert
        January 3, 2017

        whew, great to hear that! And many thanks for your comment and the inspirational link!!

      • estelea
        January 3, 2017

        Welcome 😉 let’s stay on tracks 💪🏻

      • estelea
        January 3, 2017

        On it right now! 🙂

  2. MarkOPete086
    January 3, 2017

    “I never thought my body and my mind would become such good friends.” Hahahaha…great quote. Very well, said! Hope you learn as much in 2017. Have a great new year.

    • estelea
      January 3, 2017

      Thanks dear 🙂 The reconciliation of the mind and the body is indeed a beautiful thing, isn’t it. Especially when you’re mind has been in the driving seat for so long, pushing your body to its limits (ego..ego..). Making my body an equal friend of my mind has opened a new way of appreciating life in general and sport in particular .. A great year to you too 🙂

  3. Sue
    January 3, 2017

    Hope you have a great 2017!

    • estelea
      January 3, 2017

      Thanks Sue! Will take a few photo classes from your beautiful blog ❤ Happy New Year!

      • Sue
        January 3, 2017

        Thank you, Estelea! Glad to be of inspiration!

  4. that traveling nurse
    January 3, 2017

    ahhh, happy new year my dear friend!!! hope the new year wishes you well. i didnt put up any resolutions and what not knowing fully well that i am only apt to break it in one way or another. ha! i know, i am baaaad…. anyway, i am going to shoot you an email in a few minutes…. I’m counting down till touchdown cebu! 3 more weeks baby! 🙂

    • estelea
      January 3, 2017

      Cant believe I m going to see you in 4D! I knew 2017 was going to be an awesome one 🙂 happy new year !!!

  5. The Snow Melts Somewhere
    January 3, 2017

    Excellent post! 💫

  6. brittabottle
    January 3, 2017

    “2016 has not been a year of achievements, but one of learning.” I love this sentence so much, Estelea! Life isn’t always about achieving things–if we really want to achieve anything meaningful, sometimes we have to actually sit back and allow ourselves to learn something new first.

    In many ways, I have the exact same sentiments about 2016. I believe I did achieve a lot, but it was internal achievements that came from failure and a lot of reflection, learning, and growth. It wasn’t always easy and sometimes it was downright painful, but it was also so productive and fruitful.

    All the best in 2017. ❤

    • estelea
      January 4, 2017

      I totally hear you 🙂 It’s always easier to have this feeling of accomplishment when you can show something. How dependant we have became to other’s approval .. THat’s why I love the last drawing so much 🙂 Lots of love from our little sunny island and again cheers to growing beautiful projects this year .. X

  7. connie.n.w.
    January 3, 2017

    beautifully written by a beautiful soul. you are so right about the whole complaining thing.. it’s a vicious cycle and it doesn’t really feel productive or resolved after. best wishes to you and to continue the positive streak! 🙂

    • estelea
      January 4, 2017

      Your words always go straight to my heart Connie ❤ THanks a lot! Took me long enough to unpeel the unnecessary layers of me, I ll definitely continue on this positive path. And I know you are on the same line, see you soon here or there X

  8. Ann GrubbsnCritters
    January 3, 2017

    You are never not good enough, my dear darling friend! FB can be such a farce you don’t need it; all those jobs updates of acquaintances you see…ignore. That crazy pose you see on IG, screw the overtly filtered, perfect pose. And you know your life is already much richer with growing, learning, nurturing…not a farce. The kids are lucky to have you as a mom; you do what’s right. Happy New Year, dearest friend. The best have yet to come! 😘❤

    • estelea
      January 4, 2017

      Thanks dear 😉 But tell you what, I can do the single hand stand .. but not long enough to make a pic of it. Actually I d have to crop all the props I am using 😉
      Lots of kisses from our side of the world, where we can still enjoy a cappuccino in terrace early Jan, blessed with a beautiful blue sky and surrounded by real smiles ! See you soon XXX

  9. e
    January 4, 2017

    Really enjoy this… Happy new year!

    • estelea
      January 5, 2017

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂 And a beautiful year to you too!

  10. lexklein
    January 4, 2017

    My first reaction was to say that you need to work your magic on me, then I quickly realized only I can work my magic on myself. My 2016 has been one of the worst years of my life, and my negative self-talk and complaining have hit record highs. Luckily, I do realize this (!) and am starting to work on it. Reading your positive messages and uplifting posts always does me good. Thank you and happiest of new years to you!

    • estelea
      January 5, 2017

      Love that 🙂 2017 is already spreading its sparkles on you dear! The moment you realize and want to change, you already set your intention .. Just need to stick with it 🙂 And I bet the warm sun rays of Cuba and this Huston (that is now really intriguing me !) will make it all for the best of the best! Your last post was so highly energetic, can’t wait to read more … Lots of love !

  11. Andrew Seal
    January 4, 2017

    A wonderful post Estelea. I know you will make it happen 🙂 Warmest wishes once again for a very Happy New Year

    • estelea
      January 5, 2017

      Thanks dearest, your kind words always mean a lot to me 🙂 I have just started working on The Wedding, and I was browsing on your paintings for inspiration for the bouquet 🙂 HAve a greatissimo One@

  12. amommasview
    January 12, 2017

    What a fantastic post! Wow… I’m actually lacking words. I think you nailed it. The essence of happiness, of being content. The spray the bitch away is great and to what you said in the beginning: Yes, you can bitch about all the negative things in your life and it will not help you. You will feel worse. It’s like you keep rolling in mud instead of getting up and washing it off and move on.

    • estelea
      January 12, 2017

      Exactly ! It takes a bit more time and practice to “change the chanel” for the positive station, but it is so very worth it.
      I don’t think we can ever stop any negative thought but we can decide not to dwell on them, for sure.
      Thanks so much for stopping by, and it is not too late to wish you a beautiful, healthy and sparkly new year ❤

  13. Pingback: My Picks Of The Week 2017 – #2 | A Momma's View

  14. Photography Journal Blog
    January 19, 2017

    I just wanted to say that a lot of things you wrote here really spoke to me. It’s not so much that I can relate to your individual experiences, but what you are saying about focusing on your response to the world, which honestly is something that is within our control as individuals. It’s not easy to be focused and positive and to not be sucked into a negative space!
    It’s a bit of a rambling comment but just wanted to let you know, I appreciate this post 🙂

    • estelea
      January 21, 2017

      Thanks so much, it really means a lot to me! Yes you are totally right, it is definitely challenging to dwell on the positive, it is so much easier (and natural?) to stuck in the negative. Probably because it doesnt imply any action.
      But it is so very worth it. And the more we train to “change channel” and move to a positive state of mind, the more it becomes natural. I also realised it implies leaving some people behind. But the new ones you ll meet along the way will share your philosophy, so it s all for the best 😉

      Again heartfelt thanks for your very kind comments X

  15. equinoxio21
    March 10, 2017

    Ben ouais hein?

    • estelea
      March 11, 2017

      Ben ouais 🙂 Comment va chez toi?

      • equinoxio21
        March 12, 2017

        Ça va, à part le 3e rhume de l’année. Les bébés sont des bombes bactériologiques.

      • estelea
        March 15, 2017

        😀 ah c est bien la premiere fois que je lis ce qualificatif pour des bebes ! J ai du le relire plusieurs fois, je pensais a un compliment deguise, mais non !
        J espere au moins que ce sont de petits rhumes! Un chouya penibles mais qui ont la decence de ne pas s’eterniser. X

      • equinoxio21
        March 15, 2017

        Le problème des bébés c’est qu’ils ont toutes leurs défenses immunitaires à créer. Donc, ils attrapent des cochonneries tout le temps. Et ils les repassent. La semaine dernière, c’était son père et moi. Aujourd’hui, c’est sa mère (ma fille) qui a une crève pas possible. Ça passera.
        Tout va bien chez toi? Le mariage s’organise bien?

      • estelea
        March 20, 2017

        Oui oui, on se prepare a quitter les Philippines le 14 juin!!! Je cherche des malles, deviens minimaliste integriste et .. oui, je realise aussi que la date du mariage approche et qu ‘il me manque “juste” un coiffeur, maquilleur, photographe, et LA robe. Mais je pense naivement qu’on est encore laaaarge 😉 On s’est deja mis la moitie de la famille a dos avec nos invitations limitees mais on a reussi a respecter les 55 personnes max. A suivre … X

      • equinoxio21
        March 21, 2017

        55 c’est court… bah, “y” reste 3 mois ou presque. A bientôt ma grande. Bz

      • estelea
        April 3, 2017

        Il reste juste 10 weekends ! Ce break a Taipei m a fait le plus grand bien, on a adore cette ville. Tout ce qui me manquait: calme, esthetique, gastronomie et discretion des gens qui ne sautent pas sur les gosses pour faire des photos. Et cerise sur le gateau, un super boulanger francais juste en bas de chez nous!
        On saura ce soir ou sera notre prochaine affectation .. je crois que c est un pays que tu connais (pas Americain, mais peut etre sympa tout de meme ..) A suivre, stay tuned! X

      • equinoxio21
        April 3, 2017

        Aaaaahhhh? Ravi de savoir qu’il y a une prochaine affectation dans le pipe-line. Tous mes voeux pour que ça vous plaisent à tous. Fais-moi signe quand tu sauras. Si je connais, je te donnerai des “tips”. Bonne chance. B.

      • estelea
        April 4, 2017

        Merci merci ! Ca commence par H, resultat sur le blog jeudi 😉

      • equinoxio21
        April 4, 2017

        Par H? My curiosity is piqued… 🙂

      • estelea
        April 5, 2017

        Sur le blog demain ….

      • equinoxio21
        April 6, 2017

        Pas vu. 😦 H? Hongrie? Non. Hong-Kong? Humanitaire à HK? Si c’est le Honduras, c’est pas mal. Haïti… Dur. On verra demain. A +

      • estelea
        April 6, 2017

        Indice: c’est le continent de ta 2nd proposition… Et une grande ville (pas un pays). encore un dernier pour la route: y a encore et toujours du riz 😛

      • equinoxio21
        April 6, 2017

        Ok. Chine. Du ‘iz, toujou’s du ‘iz… H? Hai-Shang? 😉

      • equinoxio21
        April 6, 2017

        Hunan? C une région… Hmmm. (Je résiste à l’idée d’ouvrir une carte…) 🙂

      • equinoxio21
        April 6, 2017

        Houlan-Bator? (Waf-waf!)

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